Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Thursday Night Ride

Same place, same time.

I'm out.  Family outing in Fargo has me pool bound.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

We Are The Champions

I've mentioned that we're getting our jerseys from Champion System.  You should also know we can order other items as well - even if it's just one item (in most cases).  Make sure you check out their website to see all their options.  
There's more than one way to look cool besides a short sleeve jersey.  

Friday, March 25, 2011

ABES TIme Trial Results

Bruce has done a lot of winning lately.  First, he dominated the roller racing events at the AWBF, then he continued his stranglehold of gold at the ABES time trials.  After racing 18 km’s, Bruce squeaked out a narrow 5 second victory over Mike.  Gavin showed up and took home the bronze with his bicycle prowess.  Newcomer Evan just missed the podium but showed that he and his new bike are going to be a future force of terror.  Shaun got roughed up when he fell on a gravel corner and Paul selected the one lap race off the menu with a side order of cortisone.
ATT v1.0 results:
Bruce – 36.45
Mike – 36.50
Gavin - 38.45
Evan – 39.00
Myron – 40.40
Ben – 41.20
Curt – 42.00
Dan – 43.20
Tom – 46.40
Wolters – DNF
Shaun – DNF
Good race boys - well done. 

ATT Champ

Mike's silver lining: silver

Duke set an impressive pace

D'Shaun fell on his bottom

Evan rocking the Jamis

It must be the new shoes

Clubhouse minutes: Evan’s new mtb shoes (welcome Evan), W’s new road shoes, James refuses to buy shoes worth more than his bike, Dan and Ben have to work good Friday (suckers), Duke is sniffing out a new cross bike, MCA citizens license, the cross pact revisited, the mesh crop-top bike jersey, water drips in Dukes garage, the immigants, BBQ and shingle cargage from the last storm, Scheisse’s new bike plans which do not include riding, and the upcoming ABES jersey order. 
The deadline to order a jersey is March 29 - noon.  There are some of you who need to swing by ABES headquarters this weekend to try on the jersey and order the size you want.  Unless a lot of people request an ABES cycling hat, I will only order 10; if you want to guarantee that you get one, let me know, otherwise you takes your chances.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

ThNR - ABES Time Trials - Version 1.0

This ThNR will be a two lap time trials around town.  

Just get on your bike and go.  

Expect a 35 - 55 minute push.  

It'll be a good hurt.  

Finish line is at the clubhouse.

Friday, March 18, 2011

Thursday Night Ride Report

Paul, Albert, Curt, Charles, Shaun, David and I met to sample jersey sizes, ride bike and celebrate Saint Patrick.  The ride itself included treacherous sections of gnarled ice.  We met up with an ecstatic Ben Klassen who was beaming on his beautiful new cross bike that he picked up that day.  He is going to love that bike.  Albert was also riding a new bike - his 29'er mountain bike project is now complete.  This was built around the fork he won at Southern Cross.  Alberts untold plethora of bikes is enviable.  Some of us were ready to retire but Ben's enthusiasm to continue to ride could not be contained - until it was.  We met Duke at the clubhouse where minutes included: DB's trip to France which will include riding mount Ventoux (aka the finish line for stage 20 in the Tour de France - a 2000 meter climb over 22 k's) - he's rented a sweet carbon Scott CRI to help him to the top.  Good luck - I hate you (OK I don't hate you.  I'm jealous.  You're still a douche bag though - the douciest), we also discussed Hobo with a Shotgun, the sweetness of Chaz's 1973 mini, video game homework, super-mullet, a scientific/spiritual/ET discussion was bandied about, Paul volunteered to organize an alleycat/gravel road race that may or may not include scotch, we reminisced how pastor Ben outdrank Paul at the relay race, Tim chocking me in a hot tub, DSwat is the new zamboni man for the town of Altona, the Condredge Holloway documentary, and sexy/psycho ex-girlfriends.  Saskatchewan Chapter, Jeff Loeppky reports his desires for an ABES jersey while he drank "green Kilkennys and vodka all night"  Good times.  JS

Ben and his sweet new ride.  All he needs
now is a new ABES jersey to keep him safe. 
Time for a new ABES jersey.
Alberts new 29'er without the ABES jersey.
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah - ABES jersey!

Thursday, March 17, 2011


The jerseys look fantastic and the time to order has finally arrived.  YES!

The sample jerseys arrived today so if you want to try on different sizes, they'll be at ABES headquarters for 12 days.  Orders will be made on March 29.  Don't miss out - get one for your wife (and one for your girlfriend)!

We're ordering from Champion System

The cost will be about $55-$60 (depending on taxes, shipping, personal whims/whatever).  

Options that need to be noted with every order:
- Size, quantity and 3/4 or full-length zippers.  I'll assume you'll want short sleeves, but long sleeves are an option.  

Cycling hats will also be available for $15'ish.

Post a comment or send me an email to place an order.

Best St. Patrick's day ever!


St. Patrick's Day ride

Thursday's supposed to be gorgeous yet there are many factors that might shorten tonight's ride....St. Patrick's Day celebrating, NCAA basketball, the start of a long weekend for some.  Take your pick.  Same time, same place.

And another thing.  FailBlog never ceases to amaze me with their cycling mishaps.  We need to start recording our rides.  I'm sure we could have our own feature section.

Monday, March 14, 2011

Friday, March 11, 2011

Thursday Night Ride Report

Steve, Shaun, Dan, David and I cruised the local  hotspots.  The mild temperatures of the day made for slippery road conditions at night.  We revisited the Elmwood mountain bike park, a sheen and scary pond, and were forced to hike our bikes over the larger drifts on the trails.  When we met Duke we realized how dehydrated we were and decided to adjourn to the clubhouse.  Tom joined us for the meeting where minutes included: Sweet Action will need to wait until next year to win the Altona curling club chapmionships, the ABES jersey sample size kit is coming, Steve’s $600.00 tire rim win, zombies (they are so IN right now), daddy skills, the Super-Happy-Fun-CFL pool needs a new leader, home protection plans (guns), the awesomeness that was the AWBF, David texted innappropriate messages to Steve’s girlfriend, day old rink dogs, Bruce has bike AND beer skills, the fender blender, the forgotten chilli prize, Los ABES, mennonite logic, the Tar Heels solid game agains the blue devils, Jesus Loves Me was sung by a group of merry men playing pool, Chumlee, cigarette smoking races, SaWTFzky always gets what he wants - congratualtions, and the potential brilliance of ham jerkey; jerkeyologist, Tom D to investigate?  Good times.  JS

Steve prepares to cross the pond of death
nice headlights 

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Don't Be A Wang

epic fail photos - Football Celebration FAIL gif

Kerwin Bell sacks himself, gets pushed to the ground, tea bagged and penalized for taunting.  This might be one of my favorite fails of all time.

See you tonight.

Wednesday, March 9, 2011


For some reason this photo makes some of us cringe more than others.

Same place, same time, not the same fun.  New fun!  Every ride is like a snowflake gentleman and hopefully we'll be seeing less of those in the near future.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

AWBF Slideshow

The ABES Winter Bike Festival Review

The ABES Winter Bike Festival took place and it was good.  Bruce showed up with his new unicycle and proved he was about to unleash a bucket of bike skillz all over our festival.  Evan revealed his new cross bike.  His upgrade from Super Cycle to the Jamis Super Pro is going to make him very happy.  The ride around town was fun and included climbing attempts at the hill.  Cindy was the female climbing champ and Bruce took the male honors with his south side efforts.  Evan won best wipeout with a nice flip-crash on a climb attempt (his bike is fine).  The Bunge Sprints were dominated by Paul K who killed it (I hope you took home a prize?).  Cheryl took the Ladies sprint title.  The cage match knockdowns were surprisingly dominated by first time AWBF'er Marguerite - even though she did not fully understand the rules, she continued to dominant round after round.  Marguerite also won the best female wipeout with her spill that took place while we were all standing on the street.  My fixie pwned the slow race.  Gavin took the freewheel slow race title and Shaun took the silver medal.  The eXchange knockdowns were won by many but Curt flexed his muscles early and made an impact on the games with some dominant take downs.  Gavin constantly knocked me off my bike and had an impressive double takeout when he pushed me into James, knocking two down with one move.  Well done.  Nobody had the stones to challenge James, the skid king.  His reputation for skid domination intimidates us all.

Erick brought his roller racers to the pulpit to make us grimace and grin.  Cheryl took the women's roller racing championship winning all of her races.  Bruce took the mens title with a win over Chaz.

There were some great races, surprising/impressive results, a dead-even heat between Cindy H and Marguerite, and a relay race with "pre-porn" drinks that was epic.  It was a great day to be Bruce.

The post race rink-dogs/buffet hit the spot.  Erick let anybody try riding the rollers on two wheels.  Chaz and Paul seemed to love it.  James was a natural.  It freaked me out.  There were crashes and broken spokes to show for our efforts (sorry Erick).  Julia, Duke, Leo and Dan were late shows but joined us at the exchange soiree.  

The Tar Heels won.  Again.  

Thanks to all the folks that helped make this a great day: DSwat made all the rink-dogs, Paul, Evan, and David made the audio/visual a reality, Cindy and Ben led the clean-up in the kitchen, Curt took the relay race video (best video ever), BAC for sponsoring the Festival, everybody who brought delicious food and Shaun for his beautiful pottery contributions.  I thought the day was awesome.  JS  

ABES Winter Bike Festival photos

Just a few pics from yesterdays awesome Winter Bike Festival.  Thanks again to Jonny for doing the organizing, Eric for hosting the roller racing, and anyone who brought food and prizes.  I think we had plenty.


Bunny goodness, waiting for the beautiful union of meat and baked goods.

The prize table.

The slow racing competitors.

The roller racing venue.

Cindy and Cheryl get set to race with their adoring fans waiting.

Neck and neck...for the first 5 meters.

Cindy accepts her defeat with a smile...Cheryl revels in her victory by feeling ill.

Charles helps Paul W. strap in.

Eric does the same for Albert.

Nelson, Mia and William gaze in wonder as soon-to-be-crowned Champion Bruce powers through his race.

William watches his old man go head to head with Curt for the first 100.

Jonny does his best stumbly dismount as James mounts up to challenge Albert in the beer relay.

Jonny chugs as Albert readies himself.

Ben and Jonny cheer on their teammates in the relay.

James checks his progress as he races Shaun.

Shaun goes into Zen mode.

Eric keep a close eye on Shaun as Dan realizes he's overdressed for this event.

James dismounts as Gavin prepares for his leg of the relay.

Gavin v Dan in the relay.

Dan stares into his seemingly bottomless cup post ride.

The final leg of the relay - Bruce V Charles.

Bruce downed his beer so fast only blurry photographic proof could be obtained.

Bruce - individual roller Champ and Relay anchor leg Champion

Friday, March 4, 2011

Thursday Night Ride Report

James, Chaz, W, Albert, Shaun, Duke and I went for a ride.  It included a few wipeouts that will produce aching hips and knees in the morning, a sprint down Bunge Lane that was won by Alberto, and James was pronounced world champion of the world of the ice skid; will anybody knock him off his high horse and take down the skid king?  Maybe a new challenger will emerge at the AWBF to end his reign of terror.  We concluded the ride at the clubhouse where we were joined by Steve, Paul “key party” B, and David “hot head” Sawatzky.  Clubhouse minutes included: the sweet tunes/volume level, a sneek peek at the latest ABES jersey and hat, history seekers/promise keepers, curling club championship - quarter finalists, rink dogs, Hartford Whalers jerseys, the AWBF home-baked prizes, Pole Vaulters new bike, ManXena and cerebral Paulsy, overdressing on a bike and underdressing in a tent, The book of Doug (and the slugs), Shauns leather bar wraps made from old leather jackets from the MCC thrift store, STEVE EARL, The Hut is open, Bob Dylans ex-girlfriend is ex-alive, a boy named Souix, and Pastor Dan has crashed – doggy style.  Good times.  JS

James being officially sworn in to ABES
Albert did not fall = win!
Hand cut, sewn, and braided leather wraps.  Impressive work Shaun.

Thursday, March 3, 2011