Friday, May 31, 2013

ThNR Report

DNS David, Mike, Franklin, Albert, Chaz, Steven, Gavin, James, Curt, Paul W, Shaun and I gathered in the garage to imbibe some pre-ride bitters.  Most of the group left before James was out of the crapper so we were a splintered group to begin with and things continued to disintegrate from there.  The clubhouse is our beacon and we eventually reconvened.  Duke and Giles joined the meeting where minutes include: Gavin looks like he got a haircut, Chaz was riding his spiffy new single speed 29’er, group rides that ride as a group, David wants to make a Barf Vader shirt, Albert was riding a new back-up-back-up bike, Curt brought his new carbon 29’er, Duke observed that hard liquor tiptoes  - and then it pounces, Giles sold his house and bought a house (yaa/boo), Pole Vaulter bought a trike to tote his beer keg (figurative and literal), the cream corn and sliced hotdog miagrope, flying squirrel V lightning bug – which is better, and a good dump can save you a thousand dollars worth of bike upgrades.  Good times.

DB reports that the wool jerseys are ready to be embroidered – just in time for summer!  Drop-off your jersey at WC Miller or ABES headquarters ASAP.  Be sure to write your name on the tag for good measure. 

Albert submitted this photo of PW.
Soon to be a trikegle.

Wednesday, May 29, 2013


They're calling for a boatload of rain so the ride may be short.  I'll lure you out of your house by offering a pre-ride/clubhouse aperitif in my garage - it'll be delish.

See you mofos at 8.

And on another note we've officially made our contribution to The Bridge Skatepark!  $1000 was handed over this week to a grateful Richard Neufeld.  Hopefully this new park will encourage us all to do things like this.  Except Dan.  Stay far away Dan.

Local Goodness

Right on.

Friday, May 24, 2013

ThNR Report

Franklin, Schiesse, Gavin, Steven, James, Albert, Shaun, Paul W, Tom, Dan, Mike, Evan, Curt and I took to the streets to cycle about our fair hamlet.  It was agreed that Franklin and Gavin are studs and we hate them.  We met David, Steve and Duke at the clubhouse where the minutes include: Steven is looking for a Malibu/El Camino conversion kit, catcher V pitcher, bone fire, Mels Rock Pile – Gretna edition, hot dogs (good) and cauliflower salad (bad) , we submitted our ABES bike weekend beer requests (a keg of Coors Light Iced Tea and a carton of menthols), cream corn V queen porn, Franklin requested a tour de Neche bike ride, Steven and James had a cathartic bitch session about work, the ABES finance committee made a motion to donate a cool G for the new skate/bike park – it was approved unanimously, Hooters bike club, and Toronto’s mayor Rob Ford is an ass clown.  Good times.

David's beer is soo good

Wednesday, May 22, 2013


People have been asking about buying an ABES jersey.  Nice.  We need at least 10 orders so let me know if you or somebody you know want one and we'll make it happen.  Saright?

See you at 8.

Friday, May 17, 2013

ThNR Report

Giles, James, DB, Shaun, Steven, Franklin, Gavin, Schiesse, Tom, Ben, Evan, Duke and I rode around town and scouted out new race course options at the park.  Giles was looking for bold lines at every opportunity, and eventually emerged from the pond with his bike covered in reeds - well played sir.  We found Sawgimpzky at the clubhouse where minutes included: Giro sprints, shaved legs, SC logos, my stupid old man knee, divergent lifestyles, smart-phone V dumb-ass, the mullet is making a comeback, we couldn’t decide which was more offensive – the “I shaved my balls for this?” t-shirt or the construction dude wearing white Capri pants, David provided a Justin Bieber tour report, Living Colour lead singer Cory Glover is/is not Danny Glovers son, animated helmet law discussions were fun, AC/DC rocks, the Fargo waffle pattern is essential, Motley Crue autobiography – The Dirt, climbing MTS towers, ball biter DSwat tries to claim the moral high ground, dying quickly ain’t so bad, Giles is the Zach Bogosian of ABES, Stinkler surfer dude Jeff doubled-up and bought the clubhouse a round, and the Altona Cigarette Enthusiast Society – Go ACES!

DB drips from his chicken wing induced sweats
Steven captured this...

Good times.

Best Bike Saftey Video Ever

Thursday, May 16, 2013


"The thing about quotes on the internet is you cannot confirm their validity" 
- Abraham Lincoln

See you at 8.

Friday, May 10, 2013

TT Report

David organized a time trial race that saw us depart headquarters at one minute intervals, racing on 2 miles of cement and 8 miles of gravel.  I returned to the clubhouse spent and had to fight the urge to puke. 

Franklin raced his new ninja bike to victory with a 5 second victory over Gavin.  Steven took the bronze edging out Shaun by 2 seconds.  That was fun.  Well done boys.  

David submitted these...

We were joined at the clubhouse by Duke, Tom and Sens-whore Dan.  Minutes include: Gavin used to be a malt liquor fatty, Albert over packs, stocking up on 20 cent cheeseburgers, Super Dave Osborne and Mr. Fuji, Dan may need surgery on his knuckle from of a freak zipper injury, Curt has a new job in Stinkler, bike fitting, MUERTO training, and Schiesse aaalmost came to bike club.  Good times.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Thursday Night ride - Time Trial

Thursday at 8 we'll meet at the usual place for a little time trial action.  Pretty simple route, check it out here on Google Maps...

View Larger Map3

Try and show up for around 8 PM so we can get started.  We'll run a staggered start.  Choose your bike/tires carefully.


Saturday, May 4, 2013

Saturday Road Ride

Sunning ourselves on the ditch that separates Canada and the USofA 
Village of Neuhorst in the background.

Friday, May 3, 2013

ThNR Report

A small gat this week - Steven, Gavin, Shaun, Franklin and I rode a few quick laps around town and called it quits.  Duke and Tom found their own routes and David, Dan, James and Giles cycled straight to the clubhouse.  Minutes include: eating discarded chicken bones with sweat and sour dipping sauce, Mike was recently forced off the road - into the ditch and over his handlebars thanks to a couple of yahoo teen drag racers – apprehended the drivers and turned them over to the cops, my Vietnamese spring roll efforts were promising but need refining, Ang’s burgers are the biggest and the best, the professor pukes out a window and onto a car in Minneapolis, Albert Falk cutout possibilities, chewing tobacco, Giles had a house in Winnipeg, I almost bought a new bike for my kids, the sport of squirrel fighting is about to happen, Giles recently played deke out the BB gun and is (or should be) planning a paintball/capture the flag/warrior weekend at ‘his’ cabin, Nash informed us that the price of wings has gone up, bully birds, Dan accidently wore his stupid Senators jersey, the Whiteshell weekend is gaining momentum and the meat draw is a sweet draw.  Good times.

Franklin joyfully smiles while showing the secret sign
of the devil with his Franklin baseball gloves.
So confusing and so good.
Saturday afternoon road ride.  Confirmed('ish): Steven, Giles, Shaun, Cheryl and I.  Meet at my place at 1:00.  Everyone’s invited - the more the merrier (easier).  JS

Thursday, May 2, 2013