Saturday, July 31, 2010

Tour de Rhineland Report









































































From the desk of race coordinator Dan...

The weather was iffy all day but conditions turned favorable for a race to remember! The air was think with anticipation at the start gate - one minute of unadulterated anxiety greeted each rider as they took the stall. (was that Bordeaux Cherry or Heavenly Hash?) The trivia proved more difficult than a fifth grade Social Studies test with some riders opting to forgo the 1 minute bonus trusting in their brawn rather than their brain. At the half way point a little refreshment of dogs and ice-cream were a welcome sight. Those who pushed themselves on the trail had a harder time consuming, while those who opted for a more refined pace on the course had the option of eating like a pig or a duck or what ever kind of animal that eats without chewing much. Back on the trail with the wind on the back the pace quickened for most. The red cooler came into view soon than expected. The option of two pops (with or without the wobbly) was an added touch that was for naught as all participants chose wobbly pop as the beverage of refreshment. For some, the consumption of dogs, ice-cream and beer couple with and over achieving attitude caused the body to reject the afore mentioned goodies as a pink froth. (Well done Johnny!) While others, who, shall we say, have more realistic expectations of themselves chose to sit on the camp stool enjoying two of this countries finest moments; a beverage made from the best goods of the grassland parries combined with the crisp waters of the Rockies, and a glorious big-sky sunset. you just don’t get that on the Russian Steppes. The finish line held much excitements and anticipation as the riders came in. Bruce had the best time with Paul a close second. But in the end, Bruce’s lack of confidence in his Aviation knowledge cost him first place and a lead of 10 seconds tuned into a 20 second, second place finish behind Paul. If there is a lesson to be learned from this event it would be either 1) don’t ride to close behind Johnny after he has had Bordeaux Cherry Deluxe or 2) don’t fly with Bruce to YWG (Winnipeg) or you might end up at WWG (Prairie View).

Thanks for the report Dan.  That was a great race.  Part time trial, part alley cat, part food, part beer, part bs.  All good.  We should do that again.  Congratulations Paul.  I know you needed to win some cash before the CMU mafia come to bust up your knee cap  - again.  We know what really happened the first time DB.  Shaun eventually won the cash in the draw prize.  Shaun spread the love with rounds of beef jerky - nice move Shaun.  

We were joined at the clubhouse by No-Show, Scheisse, Jeff, and a dapper Paul B.  Clubhouse Minutes include: the bridge repair delay on hwy 306 is frog related, crappy/insulting service awards gifts, the Enbridge oops, Justin's naughty Boa, the incredible/crazy X Games, ABES jersey and logo, the Icelandic soccer team's fishy celebration, Paul's bromantic bike ride with the FGBC, car-off: '94 tempo (low k's, cherry) V '87 Le Sabre, Vegas - wolf pack of one, The Jeffersons or The Jetsons?, bourbon + mushrooms = mistakes, St. Jean poutine-fest, Paul B's Neil Young concert review - some hits, some misses, overenthusiastic fans.  Paul bought me some apple pie for my birthday - 40 fricken years old baby!  Stupid.  I love it.  

Bruce had two upcoming rides to announce: 
1) August 14 - bike to Moose Lake - steak, sleep, get kicked out.  
2) August 26 - Thursday Night at the Races - M.S. Fundraiser at Bruce's place, cross race, supper, prizes, family fun, good cause, good times.


Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Thursday Night Alley Cat

From the desk of Dan the preacher man...

This weeks Alley Cat will have to start at 7:30 PM because of time restraints at the Gretna Store.  I am still looking for someone to man the BBQ.  If the BBQ doesn't work out I have a plan B.  Cost will be $10.00 but it includes some food along the way. Prizes will still be based on $5/rider.  Poster by Matt Kehler.

Sounds delightful Dan.  Nice poster Matt.

See you on Thursday at 7:30.  JS 

Monday, July 26, 2010

24 Hours of Falcon Lake Report

The boys at the FGBC, RRR and Birch Mountain Bike Club were trying to restart the tradition of 24 hour relay race for Manitobans and they did a fantastic job.  Check out the other blogs soon for their versions and pictures of the event.  My highlights: enough kiln dried oak firewood for a 96 hour relay race, Friday night fire u-boats, the feeling I got looking at a parking lot filled with cars, bikes, tents and gear, watching the full moon roll across the sky, hearing brakes squeal and watching lights roll down the switchback and across the face of the hill at night, solo riders that pushed their capabilities and each other, an 8 person family and friends team where the kids rode laps faster than me, a 7 kilometre course that had tough climbs, flowy roads, technical Canadian shield scrambles, and mucky/boggy slogs, Christmas light corridor and a glow stick lane to draw us forward, an encouraging and supportive crowd, sweet RRR and 24 hour shirts, draw prizes - I won a nice backpack (not a diaper bag!) from MEC, midnight dogfest sponsored by Olympia, and a  pancake and sausage breakfast to wrap up the event.  Team Living Legends (me, Charlene, Darryl and Penner) took first/last place in the mixed 4 person relay category - woohoo!  Back Alley lent me a great light system that allowed me to ride a 1AM lap - thanks.  In my last moment packing I forgot to pack a sleeping bag, therma-rest, tent and clipless pedals (unfortunately this is more typical than I'd like to admit).  Penner found an extra set of pedals for me - thanks again, and I managed to procure a sleeping bag and crashed on the floor and couch for the weekend; since I was going to bed at 3'ish every night, I slept fine.  The 24 hour factor may come off as hard-core but it works just fine for anybody wanting to ride bike, camp and have a good time - Team ABES in 2011?  I hope so.  JS

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Thursday Night Ride Report

The rain subsided in time for team ABES to do there thang.  Justin, David, Kyle, Shaun, Charles, Gavin, Tom, Mark, Giles, and I took it to the streets for a bit of pedal pushing.  Tom was showing off his sweet new ride, Kyle stepped it up with some slicks for his Grinder, and Dan showed up in his car to say he was sore.  Dan should confirm the Alley Cat for next week as soon as the details are finalized.  Tom volunteered to coordinate the August Alley Cat.  Clubhouse banter and popcorn was flowing and we were graced by Huebner who regaled us with Hot Pursuit tales and how he beat the orphaned African kids.  We were also joined by Phil, Paul, Larry, James, Duke and eventually Steve.  Other topics included MTS bashing, air-vacing puppies, the upcoming bike shower for Tom (presentation manditory), the meat guy, GPS/DVBS, Paul DB Krahn raped by Hot Pursuit donation,  Arvid Loewen beats personal record of Vancouver to Winnipeg by 18 hours, Pauls equipment research in Wankler, Vegas, organinzing/loosing things, and Tom proclaims, "good riddance to the Jets".  Bold statement.    Justin is looking for a new road bike.  He also agreed to spiffy up the logo.  Sweet.  Good times.  JS

Dan drives to the ride to say he can't ride

Tom sporting his new cross bike

Tom utilizing his spy pen

Gavin looking fast with his new haircut

Lance looking down on Chris at the clubhouse

Paul showing off his new shoe and pasty leg

Steve made a late night appearance

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Thursday Night Ride

The forcast does not call for a chance of rain - it just says RAIN (25-30 mm).  The ABES will stick to our regular ride no matter the weather.  For those brave enough to show up at headquarters, we'll guage the situation (not The Situation) and take it from there.  Maybe a few laps around town, maybe a race to the clubhouse (the 90 meter dash).  Either way, it will be enjoyable. 
The Hot Pursuit has been great fun to follow.  Team CMU is kicking A averaging over 35 kph from White Rock to River City - amazing.  Way to go team - you should feel great about all you've done (you sure showed that freaky, sick old dude, those quiter cops, and those little old ladies who's the boss (not Who's The Boss).  For real yo.  ABES salute you.
Their race, the Tour and an encouraging wind (and ride home) inspired me to ride to St. Malo for a dip in the lake on Sunday.  Bruce is talking about an upcoming group ride to Moose Lake.  ABES rule.    
Up next for yours truly - 24 Hours of Falcon Lake.  I'll be missing the parade, zote and bouncy castles for tenting, zote and bouncy trails.  Win.  A full report will be forthcoming.  See you hosers on Thursday.  JS

Sunday, July 18, 2010

"The race is on" Michael W. Smith

The Hot Pursuit is underway.  Team CMU will be chasing Arvid for the next 3 days.  Follow the high/low-lights here.  Good luck boys - you are nuts.  My advice: RIDE FASTER.  FASTER!  JS

Friday, July 16, 2010

Thursday Night Ride Report

Gavin, Tom, Phil, Chris, Albert and I enjoyed pre-race warm-up laps around town.  Low numbers got lower as Tom bolted from the group without a word and Albert needed to take a nap before bed.  The new paved road on the north end of town is a nice option and the absence of washboards appreciated.  One lap turned into three and the next thing you know it was time to visit the clubhouse.  If we get enough ABES we'll race next week.  James joined us for the final lap around town.  Phil tells me we rode 33.6 k, 25.6 k/h average, 1 hour 18 minutes 42 seconds, elevation gain/loss - the hill.  Clubhouse banter included the daily harassment schedule of bugs, Hot Pursuit idiotic awesomeness, Folk Fest recap (Neil Young is coming next year!), wood warships, Polynesian way-finders, CFL, beer snakes, 100 Ways to Die, Mark Renshaw's V Zinedine Zidane's headbutt, Pic a Pop flavors (blue?), homemade bars of shampoo, Bob Probert "greatest fighter ever", Phil mentioned that this summer he rode around Altona for 6 hours without a break.  He also had some McDonalds delivered to the clubhouse.  I'm not sure which feat impressed me more.  Good times.  JS



Tuesday, July 13, 2010


Time for some F-U-N at the track.  The Thursday Night Ride begins at ABES HQ at 8:00.  Time to revisit the local oval.  I'm looking forward to getting on my bike after the Folk Fest reacquainted me with my love of sunny days and lazing around with good people and music.  See y'all there.  JS

Friday, July 9, 2010

Thursday Night Ride Report

Last night's ride was a torrid pace. I know this because from my couch I saw a foursome of James, Shaun, Phil, and some other guy (which I later discovered to be "No Show Larry") dart by my place around 9:15. (Leo and I had the Phase 1 of the Thursday night ride several hours earlier). Somehow Thomas joined with the posse for a stint.

We all gathered at HQ and were later joined by Steve Three Knuckles. (He seems to have lost 2 knuckles on his injured softball hand) and David S. 

Topics of conversation were dominated by the boys from CVO and included the Humphrey Lift, Unknown Management, Internal Politics, Tom's ambition (or lack thereof). Other topics also included the Bombers, World Cultures, the whereabouts of Lorne and International Espionage. On several occasions Tom afforded himself the opportunity to employ his own Jr. Spy hardware with his Swisscard (see above pic). Features include: a shiv, a needle-thin pen, a light, and probably a decoder of some sort. If you need some low level secret Tom's your man. Congratulations also to Tom for winning a golf bag at "the Cleaners". Now all he needs are some clubs.

A very special welcome to No Show Larry. He is working very hard to shed his attached moniker. Notable omissions were the Host with the Most Jonny and of course Paul and his Old Dutch products. The popcorn was extra-extra salty.


Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Thursday Night Ride

8:00 at my place.  

I'll be at the Folk Fest with a bunch of dirty hippies.  Good times.  JS

Saturday, July 3, 2010

The tour of tours

The French may be considered rude, have fallen from grace in soccer and love Jerry Lewis, but they also put on a fun little bicycle race.  If you like watching the same 5 commercials, you're going to love watching the coverage on OLN.  Check it out.  JS

Friday, July 2, 2010


Canada Day!

It was a hot and sticky ride tonight with ten ABES showing up for the ride:  Johnny, Paul B. (I have to start using the suffix again since DB has re-emerged), Mark, Shaun, Jeff, Chris Franz (welcome!), the Duker, Giles (welcome back!), James and myself.

After starting off with a quick little tour of Western Altona (and already a lot of sweat buildup) we cruised through the Village to HWY 30.  It was here that the ride took a decidedly different twist.  "Hey, let's check out the motocross track", someone said.  We're not sure who to thank/blame for this suggestion but we decided it was a good idea anyways.  Throw it under the category of "Hey!  It's Canada Day!".  So Eastward to the track we went.

The Moto Park X had a different feel since the last time I rode it.  The corners were a bit looser and the lines not so defined.  Not as easy to negotiate.  Then again I was on a MTN bike last time and this time I ventured forth with my road bike.  As we all did.  It was a skinny tire off road festivus.  Probably not our smartest move to date.  Highlights of the track:  trying to stay upright, hoping not to blow a tire (luckily, and perhaps with divine intervention, no one did!), Chris' near fatal descent off the big hill, Jeff making the steep downturn look easy (see video), Mark making the same descent look much more difficult (see video) and racing the kiddie course.  Ahhhh the kiddie course!  Much more to our liking.  We know our limitations.

After the gruelling turn on the track we essentially ambled back to Duker's place taking the scenic route (the Trans Canada trail from the Village).  A small detour onto Dave and Kathleen Hildebrand's old yard led to the discovery of the world's largest bible.  Sitting on a woodpile.  Ready to be burned.  We never thought we'd see the day when Old Man Dave would burn a bible.  Apparently the End Times are closer than we'd thought.  Since Grumpy's was closed for the holiday (as was the vendor) we climbed up Duke's newly completed Stairway to Heaven and refreshed ourselves while relaxing on his rooftop patio.  Very sweet.  Topics included the marathon, Link and the Moustaches, a Paraguayan exodus, random assassination, Stephenfield camping and probably biking.  Good times.  We capped it all off nicely by watching an obscured version of the Canada Day fireworks and then some delicious dogs ala Duker.  Many thanks for hosting!

Paul B. checking out the patio pre-ride

Chris Franz and Mark discussing their marathon experiences

James powering up the hills

The scenic views of Altona's Moto Park X

Album cover? fast we can barely capture him on camera

Mark...looking better than on video

Lost faith?  Or Divine compensation...