Friday, February 28, 2014

ThNR Report

Wind chill warnings were in full effect for James, Franklin and I but we bravely/foolishly cycled anyway.  We rode a lap around town and retired to the clubhouse where we watched the Jets win a shootout over the Coyotes.  We were joined by DSwat where Minutes include: Franklin bet against the Jets again (thanks for the beer), the clubhouse graffiti improvement project is in effect – a pen(is) necessary for urination, The Altona Cigarette Enthusiast Society – GO ACES, lose weight with AIDS!, it was confirmed that James was wearing a helmet and Shaun can buy a new mountain bike, memories of Officer Sexy, Mr. F. Yu owns it, Shaun Turtle Waxes his bike, enter the FGBC Spring Classics Pool for vicarious racing fun and fame, ABES headquarters will go on sale in 2015, wear sunscreen, Shaun loudly announced to our waitress that he loves caulk, Obama is making iron man, and Franklin traded a Jets ticket for Shauns bike.  Good times.

The ABES Winter Bike Race is gearing up - more details will come as the weekend approaches.  If you'd like to lend a hand, I could use a volunteer pizza picker upper - let me know if you can help.  So far, Franklin, Stephanie, Sweet Cheryl Koop and I are the only ones that have committed to the race.  Please RSVP if you plan to attend.  If you forget to respond, you will get a kick in the arse that will be delivered with great enthusiasm!

BAC News - Starting March 4, the newly renovated Back Alley Cycle will return to their non-winter hours: Tuesday to Friday, 2:00-6:00 and Saturday, 10:00-3:00.  Check'em out

Thursday, February 27, 2014


This winter sucks the bag.

Bikes and Jets at 8.

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Arizona Report

Albert has submitted some pics from his bike trip.  Highlights include drifting sand (v snow), eating crab legs and world famous pie, warmer weather and more tail-winds than last year, 830 kms of touring, and not sleeping beside a toilet.

Only 2 flats - not bad.

Bicycle license plate from Winnipeg

The last stop.  Well done boys.
Thanks for the updates Albert.  We heart you.

Friday, February 21, 2014

ThNR Report and the AWBR

Franklin, Gavin, David, James, Shaun, Steve and I enjoyed our time puffing and peddling on Thursday night.  We retired to the clubhouse where we were joined by Paul K and Duke.  Minutes include: James may have suffered a concussion as he had a hard time recalling if he had worn his helmet (not that any of us were any help), how does anybody do anything, Franky got so tired of the cold he quit winter = summer bike, summer shoes = cold feet, there were an unusually high number of ABES that missed the last 5 minutes of the Canada V USA women's hockey game, Japanese flag designers are lazy, I was lucky to play poker against a bunch of losers, DB shared his Actif Epica high/lowlights, David was giddy that his Tar Heels beat the Blue Devils, my pipes are knock, knock, knock’n, Ain’t nobody got time for that, Paul – you’re curling in the bonspiel this weekend – remember?, Shaun spent 4 hours drilling a fishing hole with a manual auger and never made it through, for some reason Franky is excited about NASCAR, David is anticipating March Madness, Duke found his pants, kids watching curling porn at school, buddah V Buddha, you can’t make friends with salad, the ABES Winter Bike Party will be on March 9 at 2:30 (details below), summer cycling weekend options and David Downer strikes again.  Good times.  

Albert and Walter took some advie from Lyle W and cycled a 30km route that gained 2500 feet in elevation.

Speaking of "details below", check out the details below…

ABES Winter Bike Race – Sunday, March 9 at 2:30.  Anybody that cycles in winter and likes good times is welcome to join us.

Cruise – Meet at ABES/Athena Headquarters - group bike ride on the trails, alleys, rinks and parks in our fair hamlet.  Big group rides are great.  The more the merrier.

Give'r - Ride and Seek Photo Scavenger Hunt – bring a camera (SD card cameras preferred).  Race in teams.

Eat, Drink, and be Merry – the finish line is at the Altona Curling Club to tabulate the results, slap some backs, have some laughs and consume beer, pizza, and chips.

Registration: $5/person or $10/family - includes food.  Cheap like borscht.  An RSVP is required.  Please note, the cost does not include actual borscht.

BYOB or buy from the ACC bar.  

If anybody wants to make borscht, that would be good.

Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Friday, February 14, 2014

ThNR Report

Shaun, David, James and I peddled about town.  Shaun ploughed through the deepest drifts, we were harassed by a preacher, and David had pre-cleared some paths for us at the park.  It was a short (10K) and cold ride (wtf winter!? We get it; you’re super cold.  Now go away!).  We retired to the clubhouse where we were joined by Lyle, Dan and Duke.  Minutes of our meeting include: local snowboarders are getting towed with a truck to build up speed and launch themselves off ramps (=awesome), David is on the towns unofficial trails committee, Dan cheers against Canada, we all wished Paul K well on his impressive actif epica adventure this weekend - we thought using tampons as a helmet liner would help combat his overactive sweat glands - just a thought, Peterbilt V Albert built, cigars that take three weeks to smoke, Dan bought a Co-op Gold near-beer for Shaun that was dutifully and painstakingly consumed, Duke will celebrate “No Pants Week” while his family is away, it costs $192 to fill up the Suburban, scaring grandma, an MCI urine fetish shut down the Gretna arena, Valentine’s Day V Remembrance Day, Borderland school division closed for Louise Riel Day, winter Olympic goodness/tension and possible  cyclocross inclusion, luge relay?, Buddy Cole reports from Sochi (pronounced So-shay), Steven is the provincial 12 K classic xc ski gold medal champion, Lyle is looking for steel bike frames for welding practice, Spring Ride destination options, Yo Alex!, and Dan Gagne is movin’ on up

ThNR Arizona Report - Albert and Walter are about take a train from Phoenix to San Diego, then cycle back to Phoenix.  Nice.  Have fun boys.

Albert wearing shorts.
I remember wearing shorts.  Good times.

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

FFMFF Postponed

Franky and his February flu forfeit the Full Moon Firearm Frenzy fun.  F.
Same old ThNR.  Same old good times.
See you at 8.

Saturday, February 8, 2014

ThNR Report

Just two good ol' boys,
never meanin' no harm.
We were too late to enjoy these redneck toys

The minutes are late and lacking but basically they're the same as every report…we cycled around, went to the clubhouse and things got funnier as the night went on.  Good times.

This week was a pale preamble to next weeks ThNRace where we get to enjoy Franky’s Full-Moon Frenzy.  Do NOT miss it.  According to the rumour mill, the race will include shooting rifles and beers so hide yo kids, hide yo wife and make sure you don’t miss what is sure to be a hellafun night of ABES goodness.  JS

Wednesday, February 5, 2014


Time to make some tracks.
See you at 8.

Saturday, February 1, 2014

Cross race report - Altona Winter Carnival edition

Conditions for racing were clear and cold this morning as 3 hearty ABES and one lone Athena dueled for supremacy.  Vying  for 6 prizes amongst 4 racers meant everyone wins! Plus the added bonus of free fries from McD's. Double win!

Race Director Shaun Dyck reported fine track conditions. A 5 lap race was established with extra prizes for the hole shot and first crash. The finishing order was:

1. Charles Klippenstein 
2. Shaun Dyck
3. Albert Falk
4. Cindy Hiebert
Holed shot - Charles
First crash - no one crashed, although Charles did fall over post race.

Thanks Race Director!