Saturday, April 30, 2011

ThNR Report - late edition

The warmer weather brings the ABES out in us; that, or a thinly veiled cover for looking for spring cleaning treasures left out on the curbs of Altona.  Last night Tom, Duke, James, W, Ben, Evan, Charles, Shaun, Jeff and I were joined by long lost ABE Chris Franz and even longer, loster ABE Schiesse.  Ben and W were both trying clipless pedals for the first time so a slow-motion fall seemed promising – we were disappointed as they both remained upright the entire night – maybe next week.  It was a short ride but we visited the track at Miller, checked out the new bike Charles had painted for his son, tried unsuccesfully to lure Curt out of childcare duties, and rode the usual perimeter routes.  We were joined by David at the Clubhouse where minutes included: NHL playoff madness, “my PEN exploded in my pants”, wild boars, DB and Albert have failed to file reports – too busy riding I guess, the big announcement (Jets/Flashers), Quick Change has been found, wedding and election pomp, Chef Ron and Miss Evie are opening a deli on Main St. (the old, old Macloeds store), the weekend snowstorm watch, Alleycat championship month, ABES Time Trials v. 1.1, and the spring ride takes place in 4 weeks!  

Tom will cut you as soon as look at you 
Bruce assumes he is winning
Chaz customizes his sons Specialized

Curt shows up for mini-van club
Ben and W figure out clipless pedals
Rest stop - W in the background hoping not to unclip
Good times

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Thursday Night ride

9 Pm at Johnny's.  Come appropriately attired.

Friday, April 22, 2011

AlleyKrahn Report

DSwat organized AlleyKrahn (aka Douchefest) where we visited every Krahn household in Altona.  Bruce did not win for a change.  D'Shaun the cheater was the victor (and the provider of beer, so it's all good) and "honoree" Paul K finished DFL - he must be distracted these days with thoughts of riding Mont Ventoux.  Reports would be appreciated Paul.  We're still waiting for reports from our Moab correspondent.

Race results:
Tom: 29:18 + 12 = 41.18
James: 43:43 + 3 = 46.43
Paul K: 47:35 + 9 = 56:35
Johnny: 36:08 + 3 = 39:08
Gavin: 36:08 + 3 = 39:08
Duker: 44:48 + 9 = 53:48
Curt: 41:05 + 6 = 47:05
Bruce: 30:51 + 15 = 45:51
Shaun: 27:14 + 9 = 36:14
Jeff: 36:21 + 3 = 39:21

It seems that riding directly to the clubhouse and taking all the penalties would have resulted in a first place finish.  A strategy that I may employ at a future race.
We were joined at the clubhouse by Sausage Baron Scott P, Brent, Chad, Brad and Paul "you're not the boss of me" B.  Minutes include: the Canucks are in trouble, 24 Hours of Falcon Ridge - Team ABES, the FGBC Spring Ride (only for those that like good times, bikes, beer, and dogs), poker tournaments in Morden and the ACC, Schiesse's new/old radio to match his sweet furniture, Jeff abandoned his beer - boo-urns, bacon recipes, Jari to Kurri, bum-pokes and naytahs, riding etiquette, stop signs as yields, safron ice cream and the falafel wrap around.  Good times.

Saturday morning bike ride and brunch.  We'll depart from my house at 8:30.  Let me know if you plan on riding.  JS

Thursday, April 21, 2011

AlleyKrahn update (updated)

 Tonight's race is still a go but check back for updates.  The weather might be uncooperative in which case it might get postponed.  We'll meet at Johnny's at 9 PM and make a race decision.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011


Due to a strongly worded "cease and desist" order from the manufacturers of fine Summer's Eve products I've decided to rename Thursday's Alleycat.  Don't worry.  It'll still be half-assed.  Just like the weather.  So come on down to Johnny's at 9PM Thursday night, bring a pen and 5 bucks and we'll have ourselves some fun.  Go Cou!

Monday, April 18, 2011

A word from our (unofficial) sponsors...

Bruxelles Race Report

The race at Bruxelles was painful, and often sloggy and dirty, and for half a lap I was looking and feeling great.  Unfortunately there were still 2 and half laps to go. I faded quickly and ended up finishing DFL.  I was thinking of excuses to quit during lap 2 but knew a DNF would not sit right so I soldiered on for the final lap.  I sucked.  But for some reason  I was still grinning 10 hours after the race ended.  Nowhere to go but up I suppose.  Paul K joined me and he kicked A with a first place finish in Citizen.  ABES have won the citizen title every year this race has taken place!  Paul’s group started 3 minutes after I did and he passed me about 8 km’s into the race.  Bruxelles was his sort of race.  Attaboy DB.  The town (maybe 25 houses?) had  a hall where race ceremonies, food, and prizes were divied.  It was nice to see familiar MCA faces again.  Great race Olympia.  JS

Other race pics and reports are found in their usual places.   

Sunday, April 17, 2011


So PK is heading out on Good Friday.  Some fancy-schmantzy cycling trip to Frenchieland or something.  So what better occasion than the night before to send him off in style...his own alleycat.  Ok, I'll admit.  Its not really that much about PK.  And chances are he won't even show up. But ever since his loving firstborn so readily nicknamed him his entire ABES being has been permeated with said moniker.  He's even referenced it himself (see previous post).  So to celebrate its existence we bring you....

Don't expect much.  To truly honor PK and his spotty attendance I thought it only fitting to give it a half-assed effort on my part.  Oh well.  Its a race.  Show up and have some fun.  $5 entry fee.  Bring a pen/pencil.


p.s.  Summer's Eve brand has no financial sponsorship of this race.

Friday, April 15, 2011

ThNR Report

Another Thursday night, another large peloton terrorizes the community.  Of the 15 dudes out last night (another impressive turnout), only 2 were on a mountain bike.  That's a lot of skinny tires compared to a year or two ago.  We were joined by long lost ABE Jeff K and bike club whore, Thomas.  The ride was quick and lasted a solid hour.  We mostly avoided the mud this week, lost Pole Vaulter near the park but picked up Albert at the North end of town.  Paul B joined us at the clubhouse where the minutes include: the full order Breakfast Boat at Four Winds, the lemon pie switcharoo b-slap, there is a 96% chance that the Jets will return to Winnipeg, new refugees have moved to Altona and are super pumped - must be the start of the playoffs, Animal Farm/The Pigman, insane contract riders = quality control, Paul and cousin Karl will be featured in the local production of Pride and Predjudice (they are currently looking for representation), my sweet new bike/camping trailer, the Mac store (cult) Genius Bar = Tool Bar, the Garwood Grill and their rat infestation, Del Rios doesn't fully understand vegetarianism, and Paul B and the maid - yada, yada, yada.  Good times.  JS

Curt pays his spaz tax 

Paul K submitted this self-examination...

Wednesday, April 13, 2011


See you at 9:00.

Just a bunch of dudes, hanging out

How many ABES are getting an MCA license?  If my sieve-like memory is correct: Gavin, DB, Ben, Charles, Bruce, Evan, Albert and myself are going to ante in.  That's a bunch of ABES - right arm.  Others?  Mike? Curt? Steve? Shaun?  Join us won't you (Mwuaa ha haaa).   

If anybody is planning on racing in Bruxelles, we should coordinate rides.  Let me know.  JS

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Flex Your Muscles in Bruxelles

If your planning on getting an MCA license, this race is a gooder.  A gravel road race with a community supper chaser.  The supper is included with the registration (which was free for citizen racers last year).  A priest blesses the racers before the race, so you'll have that going for you, which is good.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Thursday Night Ride Report

We were a formidable bike gang last night.  Evan, David, Tom, Duke, James, W, DB, Albert, Dan, Steve, Bruce, Curt, Mike, Shaun and I took to the streets to ride.  We met up with Douche Bag near the village, and continued our ride to the four corners of town.  David and Tom made like Smokey and the Bandit, racing ahead only to hide behind the Ebenezer Home to do who knows what (I don't want to know), while the rest of us continued our ride.  Bruce took the lead and eventually escorted everybody through the muddy section of the path – funny guy.  At this point the clubhouse was calling and we obliged.  We were greeted with three bags of Tom's homemade jerky.  Is it is safe to say that we all got off on Tom’s Jerkey?   The table was rather extended so...the minutes should be about as accurate as ever; they include: Tour de Moose Lake (and beyond), two more weeks until DB departs for France for 3 days of carbon riding bliss, 1 week until Albert heads to Moab for slickrock biking bliss, The Worlds – The Jeff, slow race sour grapes - LOL!, a summer Tour de Darp is being scouted, autopac/insurance/elections, Spring Ride anticipation, BAC sold two $5000.00 bikes recently (cool), Tom has opened all bidding on a new Brooks saddle, Dan was unlucky to sell raffle tickets (but not as unlucky as the recipient who needs back surgery), David was excited to hear The Cars cranked on the juke box, eXtreme couponing – the tv show, and Shaun prefers crackle ice cream cones to power bars. 


Good times.  JS

ABES Breakfast Club departs Saturday at 9am.  The forecast is ominous.  We may or may not ride.  Call in the morning for confirmation.

Remember alleycats?  Those are fun, right?    They are.  Who wants to organizing the first alleycat this year?

Thursday, April 7, 2011

No Pie, No Sledgehammer Team

I'm more pumped than the old-school Reeboks.

Also found on the B-Boy site...

Crazy stuff mang.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Thursday Night Ride

Let's bike awesome this Thursday.  
9:00 pm at my place.

Weekend Ride:
Saturday morning road ride to Letellier for breakfast.  We’ll leave from my place at 9:00. 


Friday, April 1, 2011

Thursday Night Ride report

From the desk of Albert, via Shaun...

April Fools Eve ride:

The weather was pleasant, although the humidity was somewhat high.  Still a nice evening for a ride;  Paul (W-the other one is wandering around in France somewhere), Tom, Bruce, Duke, James and Albert took part in a leisurely ride about town.  Tom had a flat so the group made a house call to Shaun’s where Bruce did the honors changing the tire.  After a run to the village the group retired to the clubhouse, where the music was quite accommodating. 
There was some grumbling about fixies in slow race, people not getting mustache shaving credits. Additional topics included Jake the snake bike for the Duke, custom bike paint jobs, powder coating (using Shaun’s kiln).  The work is all in the prepping.  Bruce left early to pick up a first date (something not quite right here).  Polevaulter won the Nascar pool, NHL season over next weekend (playoffs should be done by July), election musings (they’re all liars), quiz nite teams-Bunge ringers, gossip teams. 
Also, ‘This hour has 22 minutes’ skits,  politicians managing the media, John A and imbibing, Jurrasic Park vs Cretaceous Park, MCC store record bargains, juke box volume controls at the bar, John A and Wilfred L and music selections –didn’t know they had juke boxes back then, righty tighty, lefty loosey, kamikaze missions, ‘Das Boot’ movie cost overruns on Russian submarines-floating motels, Chernobyl tours—future Japan tours hosted by Gilbert Gottfried, new dome covering for Chernobyl, test flights on migs. Japanese government spokesmen always wear coveralls, Keith Richards’ biography, neutralizing electricity with cow dung-it removes the effects, and naps at the old elks hall.

As you can see the topics were many and varied.
Do what you can with it