Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Monday, January 28, 2013

They're Heeeere!

The wool jerseys arrived today!  They are soft and warm and cozy and I'm going to wear mine everyday because they're so dang comfy!

Come'n get yours at the ABES/Athena headquarters.  If nobody's home, help yourself and put a checkmark beside your name on the list provided.  Cheques for $77 should be made out to Mr. Bag.  Mr. Douche Bag.

Saturday, January 26, 2013

ThNR Report

James, Franklin, Shaun, Albert, Gavin and I enjoyed a ride around town through soft drifts and sketchy patches of snow.  The wind blew us to the clubhouse where we were met by Giles, Steven, Paul B, Steve and David.  Minutes include: similarities were noted between sumo wrestling and sex, David is accepting donations for his Athena Alley Cat (read: operation), no Nash = no wings = popcorn with hot sauce, swearing in front of kids is super-cool, Paul B’s fortune cookie message was blank (beautiful), 30 Rock Therapy, Southern Cross heckling amp and microphone, Beer Wars, the Big Frame is the Big Disappointment, Mansome, steak bites V stewing beef, mistaking religious exercise and electric exercise, banning the post-sneeze God Bless You, Wild Kingdom, sabotaging the environment Canada weather stations to cancel school, Lulu and the Lampshades, selling Jagermeister at IGA is civilized, Liam Nelson improve skills, Teemu is awesome, Haley Carr at The Park, and the Operation Muerto ABES relay team.

Paul B is all style
My poor wallet looks feeble next to the David Cantstanzya spine-bender wallet
Albert, Steven, Gavin, Joanne, Cheryl and I going to Barn Cross.  Shaun and Curt are on the fence.  Anybody else coming?

Thursday, January 24, 2013


Need motivation to come out tonight?  

- the Big Frame will be there
- winter cycling is bad ass
- wings are good
- collectively mocking David is fun

See you at 8

Sunday, January 20, 2013

It's Barn Cross Ya'll!

If you like, bikes, barns, beer, bull-shit (figuratively) and horse-shit (literally), then do I have an afternoon of goodness for you…Barn Cross.  The fine folks at DRRR have invited us to join them for the 2013 edition. 

If that doesn’t peak your interest, the 324 crowd could also enjoy some post-barn burgers, poutine and Caesars at Bistro 758 on our way home.  It all adds up to a mighty fine Sunday.  JS

Saturday, January 19, 2013

ThNR Report

Curt, Giles, Shaun and I enjoyed a brief bike ride in the cold.  It was an unusual night where Curt out climbed everybody at the hill and won the knockdown championship, and Giles actually wore a helmet.  What was not unusual was Giles falling; this time he was slower than usual to get up and broke his light but managed to continue.  We were joined by David, Albert, Franklin and Duke at the clubhouse where minutes included: Gretzky was a puss, Armstrong is a pshychopath, Nash gave us grief for our low ABES turnout (everybody agreed), Giles winced and moaned like he was going to show us a bloody gash on his arm which turned out to be a scratch, DSwank is trying bicycle rollers, we were joined by some friendly celebratory folks , good breakfasts at Didi’s (aka double D’s), bread made with breast milk, wool jersey designs, Tour Down Under, understanding: Swiper – no swiping, Rex Ryan sports a sexy Mark Sanchez tattoo, I was promised a FREE Jets ticket - next year, Dan Fogerty, Jets/Bombers = time, love and tenderness, the Leafs suck, physical comedy, Franklin is scouting out a new bike, Athena bike club had more riders this week than we did (not awesome/awesome), Tebowing in Blue and Gold, Joanne needed 50 more votes to be a councillor but did win our appreciation and admiration.  Good times.

The real mystery is not the absence of blood
but presence of Stella Artoi Light

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Rock the Vote!

If you live in Altona proper and therefore have the right to vote in our by-election it!  Its your civic duty and voting for a bicycle friendly Councillor can't hurt us, can it?  Not that we're telling you who to vote for.  Another older white guy might be JUST what this Town needs.

Saturday, January 12, 2013

ThNR Report

David, Duke, Albert, James, Shaun, Dan, Gavin, Giles and I went out for a bike ride before the impending winter storm.  We quickly broke into two groups; the no-man-left-behind group and the screw-you-dirty-hippies group.  My ride included a hoppy 666 beer, snowboard/bike jumps, and knockdowns at West Park.  Both crews reunited at the clubhouse where we were joined by Ike who recently welcomed his new daughter, Sonya Kay into the world - congratulations Ike and Mrs. Ike!  Minutes include: the Tour of Albert(a) , Dan discussed “pounding the pulpit”, David shared his American loonie of Liberty, Shaun and I donned our fluffy pirate shirts/wool cycling jerseys, the suitcase of courage t-shirt, Olympic medalist/Altona native? Michelle Stilwell, Chinese curlers, regular buffalo wings v extreme buffalo wings, Paul B's Dress to Impress party, the N.H.Hell, vote for Joanne Wiebe because she is not an old white guy, Becel tubs are Mennonite Tupperware, and the “curse” of a hot girlfriend and mom.  
Classic David
Dan struggles to shows his inner Fonzie
Possible correction to the last meetings minutes regarding Dan not breaking any bones in 2012.  A crash in late December has left the good pastor with a swollen thumb that may need to be x-rayed.  Classic Dan.

The musical selections and unnecessary punk karaoke drove us to the alternative clubhouse for a final round.
Alternative clubhouse treasure chest
Dukes pant-leg strap made from a recycled inner tube - brilliant
Good times.  JS

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Friday, January 4, 2013

ThNR Report

Albert, Mike, James, Shaun, Curt, Giles, Gavin and I admired one of the sweetest cars in Altona - Franklins 1977 Ford custom 500 wagon.  The only time this car gets better looking is when it’s loaded with bikes on his home-made roof rack. 

Our ride was sweet as mild weather allowed for comfortable conditions.  We spun around town, clenched our butts when the road turned to ice, cycled up and down the hill and had knockdown games at the West Park school rink – it was grand.  We retired to the clubhouse where we were joined by Tom, Paul, Steve, Duke, Steven and David.  Minutes included: Franklins Menno-Ale, the NHL financial cliff, Mike’s new job (nothing makes you feel like more of an idiot than a new job), I was green with jealousy hearing Gavin and Stevens tales of skiing in fresh snow in Fernie, the chicken wings were back and hotter than normal, Dan cycled 7000 km’s AND didn’t break any bones in 2012 (one feat more impressive than the other), some of us were amazed to find that you can lock a zipper, the Dead at 27 Club, we all lean left – skating, biking, fishtailing, etc, Steven imparted his cross country ski wisdom, and David shared his Disney World commercial experience and bought his own lightsaber for good measure (nerd).  Good times.  JS

Wednesday, January 2, 2013


The first ABES ride of 2013!  It's going to be fun.