Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Tuesday Non Mountain Bike Report

Shaun, Albert, Steve, Mike, Curt, Evan and I enjoyed a breezy ride to the Rosetown corner and back.  It was nice (fantastic) to have a peleton to hide from the wind.  Good job ABES – that was a great ride.  Dan found us for the post ride festivities at Alberts house where the  hippie showed us that he loves his scotch.  Good times.


Thursday Alleycat: Tour de Altona – Route 55.  Whatever that means.  

I recommend not missing this one – I have a hunch it could be memorable.

Monday, June 27, 2011

Tuesday Night ROAD RIDE

Gord Hamm tells me the mtb trails are muddy and muddier.  Best to stay away.  

Cement isn't muddy.  We have skinny tires.  How about an ABES road ride?  Let's put those road bikes to use!  Meet at my place at 7 and we'll ride to Rosetown.  The more the merrier - everybody should come out and ride.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Thursday Night Ride Report

It was a great night for the ABES.  Tom, Curt, Steve, Jeff, Chris, W, Dan, Shaun and I were all giggles in our new gear.  The jerseys were worn with pride as we strutted around town.  We looked smart but we made some dumb decisions when it came to our route.  We rode past barricades to find one section of a gravel road still under repair and soft enough to make it a swervy slog, and when rode past the dirt road barricade, it started as soft dirt and got worse/wetter the further we rode.  The cross bikes ruled the mud but the road bikes needed some TLC to get the wheels rolling again.  A quick trip to the car wash helped salvage the bikes.

We were joined at the clubhouse by Steven, Duke, and Albert.  Patrons were complimenting us on our jerseys but it wasn’t always clear if it was authentic or drunken sarcasm – we took it as drunken compliments and left it at that.  Meeting mintues include: how sweet our new jerseys are, Duke working half-time next year, “Bob Essena”, the Bombers loosing in exhibition, Marvelous Marvin still loves feathering hair, back country camping, The David File, DB being a DB, Dan loosing his nuts, loosing phone reception in the tunnels of Manitoba, the Brian Wilson concert / skipping half of your classes, bike hats and condoms, flooded highways in Saskatchewan, Bonanza memories (tv and restaurant), the Bruins bar tab, the bombastic nature of Ted Nugent, wild boar rectum, and Julia Childs should be dead.  Good times. 

There are two options for the Saturday Morning Breakfast Ride:  
- DB and Dan are leaving from the 421 and 30 at 7:45 to ride into the US to go to Walhalla – 120 km’s roundtrip.  
- The other group is keeping their passports at home for an 8:00 ride to Plum Coulee – 50 km’s roundtrip – meet at my place.

Next week Pole Vaulter lends his talents as Alleycat coordinator - Tour de Altona - Route 55.

Good times.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011


Cyclist David Sawatzky 

Tomorrow we will look like an official bike club  - or  a bunch of dorks, nerds, or dweebs depending on your definition.  Either way, it’s going to be awesome.   

See you at 8.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Tuesday Mountain Bike Ride - Postponed

Not really, but it's starting to get ridiculous
There is a 70% chance of rain at 6:00, 90% at 7:00 and 100% if we go riding.

I don’t mean to sound like a broken record, but…we’ll try again next week due to bad weather.  Sheesh!

If you’re keeping score: Rain/Mud/Cancelled Ride: 4.5, TMBR: 1.5
The weather should be beautiful for the ThNR with our new jerseys.  Oh ya!  JS

Saturday, June 18, 2011

It is a Beautiful Day

It was a great day to ride.  Our jerseys made us ride and/or feel 25% faster/better looking.  It's a fact, probably.  We donned our new jerseys and rode to Plum Coulee for breakfast.  James, Curt and I enjoyed a pleasing breakfast at the bar-restaurant.  James reminded me about my previous visit - Dwats stag breakfast - on our way to Glenboro.  Very good times.

Cheryl plans to wear her jersey and hat in the marathon tomorrow.  I'm so proud.  JS

Friday, June 17, 2011

Tom Was Right. Come And Get'em!

ThNR Report

The ABES engines are reving in anticipation for the new jerseys.  Tom made his “Guaranteed Lock of the Day” by promising the jerseys will arrive today.  I like the confidence Tom - I hope you’re right.  The ride was enjoyed by Steve, Shaun, Chris, Cousin Thomas, James, Albert, Gavin, myself and the Duke who w(h)ore his Bruins jersey for the first time since high school.  We cycled the roads, paths, highway, alleys, track and dirt roads around Rocktona.  It was good.  And then Steve led us to his house for a pit stop.  I heart you Steve.  That sort of behavior is encouraged.  We finished off the ride at the clubhouse where we met David, Dan and Evan who had been looking for us around town to no avail – somehow they knew where we’d end up.  Dan had just completed his new single speed but showed up late to headquarters to show it off.  For a guy who resolved not to spend money on new bike gear, he did a great job of pimping his ride.
Paul F’n B joined us at the Clubhouse where the meeting minutes included: Canuckle heads, Bombers, Tom found a photograph of a mystery soldier (circa 1915) behind a picture frame at MCC, David was sampling different beers but it was his return to O.V. that got him the surliest and singing along with the tunes (the last time he had an O.V. , it was served in a stubby), Tom gave Duke a bottle of hot sauce to celebrate Dukes cheque finally clearing, the Bungee picnic menu, mixology app, Cowboy Junkies now Cowboy Fans for their tour in China, Bettman boos, Riots – everybody loves free stuff and burning shit, Leising, Gavins house – SOLD!, Cliff Doell is my new barber, man muffins, U2 at the Walker filming a documentary, Thomas doppelganger, and Leaf fans are still waiting for a reason to riot.  Good Times. 
Saturday Morning Breakfast Ride - The weather will be perfect - meet at my place at 8:00 and we’ll ride to Plum Coulee.

Thursday, June 16, 2011


There is a chance we will have our jerseys TONIGHT!
For serious. UPDATE: NOT A CHANCE - ETA - Monday.

The cost will be $60 for a jersey, $70 for a long sleeve or summer jersey, and $15 for a hat.  Cash, cheque or interesting trades considered.

See you tonight at 8:00.  JS

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Tuesday Mountain Bike Ride Report

Steve, Shaun, Mike H and I threw caution to the wind and headed out to ride in the hills.  We rode the T.C.T. from the 201 and made it to the field road before heavy rain, wind and lightning drove us back.  The trails back were greasy and flowing with water which made for an entertaining ride.  We met the Tinker Creek boys on the road who were also caught in the rain riding back to their clubhouse.  We’ll try it again next week.

In other ABES news...

Congratulations go out to Curt and Rachel on the arrival of their third young’n.  I assume they named him Jamis or Abe.

Alleycat Update – Shaun Dog has stepped up to the plate to organize the July Allecat.  Attaboy Shaun. 

From the Desk of Bruce (TWHS) Penner...

Can you put up the invitation to Moose Lake RIde for me?  It will be Saturday, August 20.  Steak Dinner included with accommodations.  187 kms.  The only cost will be sore butts.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Tuesday Night Mountain Bike Ride

Remember that time when a bunch of us went mountain biking?  That was awesome.  That did happened, right?  It seems like a dream.  I'm hopeful the rain will be minimal and that we'll be able to hit the trails tomorrow night.  

Let me know if you're riding and if you can drive.  

Meet at my place at 6:00 and we'll leave by 6:30.  JS 

Friday, June 10, 2011

Thursday Night Ride Report

James, Tom, Steve, Chaz, Evan, Jeff, and I went for a quick paced ride around town.  We tried to coax David out early but he needed more time to apply his make-up.  We found Mike and eventually a pretty David found us.  We totalled 25 km’s as we zipped to the usual hotspots, including the remnants of the old Elks hall where memories of dances, Santa, movies, and first beers (Steve was 14) were shared.  We met Duke at the clubhouse where the minutes included: horrible dentist experiences (past and present), Dukes postdated cheque to Tom with impossible date (September 31 - funny guy), the Big Ride review (Bruce can’t walk stairs, Curt finishes strong and is my new hero), insurance BS from MTS on Dswats phone (that he dropped in the town pool), Butthead runs from the cops, geocaching, Jew-me, Storage Wars, Jets and Bombers season ticket stories, Steve is biking to work, new hockey team: The Winnipeg Threshers, slippery cigs, NBA finals, the ABES fall ride, and Bettman is still a dick.  Good times.  JS 
Fine tuning the precious cargo carrier 
Lookey Lou's

This time it's for real - right?

Saturday Morning Breakfast Ride.  I’m camping with family/friends this weekend but if you’re up for a spin, meet at my place at 8:30.  A report on the new restaraunt in Plum Coulee would be appreciated. 
Pole Vaulter has volunteered to be the race coordinator for the next Alleycat – June 30.  Right arm.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011


I ride a bike.
You ride a bike.
Let's ride our bikes together.
My place, 8:00.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Almost Famous

Curt, Mike and Curt (from L to R or R to L) got some press.  Find out why here.

Monday, June 6, 2011

Tuesday Night Mountain Bike Ride

The forecast calls for rain.  That's too bad.  It looks like we'll need to wait another week to hit the trails - again.

Epic Ride MMXI

A report from the desk of Bruce...

Some points of interest on our weekend ride. 

Put myself to bed at 7:00 pm, tossed and turned until 9:10, got up at 9:30 refreshed.  I made a pot of coffee and pumped up my tires once more.
At 9:25 I left the house because I told anyone that would listen to meet me at the corner of Viterra if they wanted to join me on a one-lapper of Rosetown.  The purpose of this was to make sure we’d have 300 km when we get to Rennie (Red Rock Bible Camp).

Once I settled onto my bike I looked down the road to see a blinking light on hwy 30.  YAHOO!, I’m  not the only one!!  As I drive up the look that I get is one of “why are we doing this?”
Curt Toews and myself quickly find ourselves fighting a ‘very short’ headwind to Rosetown. It stayed somewhat dusk-like until 11:00pm!

At 11:45 we’re at the bike shop making coffee soon to welcome Albert, Curt Falk and Chaz.  Our enthusiasm for the ride is evident in the chatter.  You’d think we were women!
It was probably 12:20 before we all left and all loose ends were tied up.  Curt took TP along so he could procrastinate.
Our first several hours were spent admiring the starry sky, jabbering on about every subject under the moon, being chased by an invisible dog, peeing lots, eating more.

We arrived in Steinbach at 5:45.  Experiencing the dusk-till-dawn ride is, what I have discovered, not a goal on many people’s list.  But I must say is will be a highlight in my book! 
We breakfasted at Tim’s.  Ok, Tim’s has good coffee, but you have to order the XXL .

Chaz took a lot of pictures.  So we’ll have to get him to send them. 

Mike K met us in Steinbach.  Chaz had a wedding to attend and Albert’s leg was bugging him to they biked back to Morris where Albert’s truck was waiting.
The rest of us left in a blaze of rubber and spandex at 7:30.

Our pace was unbearable for me as we tried to allow Mike to get his legs warmed up.  After 50K, I packed it in and said I like to ride on my own!

It was a day of force feeding and lots of water.  It is amazing feeling to be able to push my body that far. 

300.98 kms, 15 hours, 12 in the saddle, averaged 25.4 km.  This was about an hour behind the other guys.

The fatigue in my legs was easily forgotten when I settled into the hottub!  YEAHH!

From Chaz,
After Albert and I left the Hard Core Red Rock group, we headed back west on the 52 to buck the head wind that had made the night ride so relaxed!  Before we had even left Steinbach, my tire demons returned to plague us.  2 CO2 cartriges, lots of tube patches and finally a full tire and tube swap later... and we were off.  We had a good push against wind and worked our way to St. Agathe.  There we were able to enjoy the strong North wind pushing us on the final stretch to Morris.  All was well until 13k from Morris when a rock killed the last of our inner tubes and I was left to walk while Albert continued biking to pick up his truck in Morris.  In the end our average speed was just over 26 km/h.
Good times!

Friday, June 3, 2011

ThNR Report

The William Conrad Miller Time Trials took place and it hurt as much as it was fun.  We were joined by Micheal Hutton who wanted to check out the ABES scene (welcome).  Steve and Steven were both rocking their new skinny tire bikes and both took advantage on the track. 
The Last Man Out race was won by Gavin, followed by Charles and Evan.  It was an impressive show of power by all three.  Not surprisingly, the same three were on the podium for the 2 lap Time Trial.  Whipper-snapper, clean-living Evan narrowly defeated Gavin and Charles to claim the gold.  Here’s how the rest fared:
Evan – 1:15.53
Gavin – 1:15.66
Charles – 1:16.03
Mike – 1:19.75
Steve – 1:20.28
Shaun – 1:22.47
Steven – 1:25.06
Johnny – 1:25.25
James -  1:30.12
Chris – 1:31.75
Dan – 1:40.16
Derrick – 1:40.56
David Rudisha of Kenya holds the 800 meter world record at 1:41.01.  He ran.  And we beat him!  Silly Kenyan.

The 16 lap relay race was won by Charles and Chris, followed by Gavin and Dan, then Shaun and Steven.

Latecomers Duke, David, Albert, Curt and Tom joined us at the track for a cool-down lap around town before retiring to the clubhouse where we were joinded by long lost ABE Giles who showed off his sweet stache and some hilarious/disgusting video of his broken finger.  Other minutes include: JETS!, stinky ass road trips, the Saturday morning breakfast ride, and The Big ride – Curt, Curt F, Bruce, Charles, Albert, and Mike K are leaving Altona tonight (Friday) at midnight to ride to Steinbach for breakfast, then continue with a fundraiser ride to Red Rock.  The total will be about 255 km’s.  Bruce thinks 255 km’s is for babies so he’s going to ride an extra 45 km’s before the group leaves to bump his total to an impressive 300 km’s.  Sick.  Good job boys.

In bike news of less impressive, but of a more reasonable nature…The Saturday Morning Breakfast Ride will be short and sweet –Nora’s Diner in Gretna.  Meet at my place at 8:30.  JS

Steven gets sassy about his new bike

Steve keeps his bike ABES ready

Shaun and James

Half-way through the Last Man Out race

Classic clip-in fall

Mike H gets ready to hurt.
Time keeper David is rancho-relaxo.

Sweet stache.
Gross pinkie.
Good times.

Thursday, June 2, 2011


Meet at 8:00.

We'll race at WC Miller.

The weather will blow.

A new road bike and cross bike may appear from Steve and Steven.

See you tonight.