Calling All Honkies

Are we ready for the Jive Turkey Alley Cat?  It’s not November and it’s not the American thanksgiving holiday, but the theme remains the same.  I hope we’ll be joined by our cast of thespians.  6+ riders are needed so confirm your attendance and I’ll make it happen.  1  minute off for anybody who keeps their Movember stache for the race and 5 minutes off for anybody who shaves off their lifetime stache (Albert, Paul, James).  Shaving your legs is an automatic DQ.  JS

Superdupercross

The folks at the O.C.C. did a fine job with the last cross race of the season.  The snow, course, race and clubhouse were good fun and everybody there loved it.  It concluded an incredible year of crossy goodness.  The highlights of my first official year of cross include:  Ian lending me his bike for the last laps at Wildwood due to a broken seatpost, the mud, mess and faspa at Menno cross, the getter-done attitude to make the race happen at La Barrier, the cliff and sand at St. Malo, cheering/heckling on the Southern cross hill, the pain/fun at Harbour cross, heckling at provincials (watching Tomek use his bmx skillz), and the snow and reverse starting order of supercross.  Lowlight – breaking my deraileur on the first lap at La Barrier – such is life.  The people and the attitude in this scene are awesome.  Race days were always fun.  Thanks to all the organizers, volunteers and officials that made these races happen.  I know it takes a lot of planning and I appreciate all the hard work and dedication to make the season so successful.  JS

Part smile, part grimace, part jeaner

The chicken dance run-up
clap-clap-clap-clap

Photos from here.

Mondays...

Mondays often suck.  Kinda like this...

Thursday Night Ride Report

David, Paul W, Steve, Albert and I went on a nice tear on the streets and though the drifts around town.  The weather varied between lovely and freeze-your-face-off depending on the direction of the ride.  Albert had a nice wipe-out trying to navigate a corner at the park.  He also showed us the benefits of a squishy bike as he rode over a snow covered curb in a parking lot as if nothing was there.  When we retired to the clubhouse, our server turned the music down to conversation level.  She knows.  Minutes included: Lorne Hildebrand with long, wispy hair, we tallied the number of bikes we owned but had a tough time getting Albert to finalize a number, the grand re-opening of the liquor store, winter clothing options, volunteering at the Scotties, chicken fat injections for arthritis, drinking and snoring, ABES pool/pizza party, memories of the old curling club, 4 out of 5 ABES were sporting staches – 2 as a lifestyle choice and 2 to support prostate cancer (I’m against prostate cancer so I did not grow a stache), Paul DB B  and his yoga night (read: strippers and meat buffet.  Paul W is the only non-DB Paul remaining), sleep apnea machines, Micheal Jackson, the Cirque du soleil Beatles show (not Love), the Grey cup bet, David wants to retire and buy an RV, and Steve’s still looking for a big rack to mount.  Good times. 

No photos this week - Bill Murray related art work instead.

The Throwdown

Received an IM from ABES member (SK chapter) Jeff Loeppky this morning.  It appears he's scored some tickets to this weekends Grey Cup and just wanted to rub it in to all of us in Bomber land.  So I trashed the Riders.  He sassed the Als.  And a bet was born.  At stake?  I'll provide him with sweet Southern Cross tees for his whole family if the Riders win.  He'll send me, and I quote, "Game Day spiffs from Edmonton (t-shirt/hat/something fron the Gibson's Finest tent/whatever)....and a box of beef."  IT IS ON!!!

EP

Thursday Night Ride

Due to an underwhelming response, the Jive Turkey alley cat will be postponed to next week.  Maybe we’ll have more people once certain boys are finished playing with their dress-up clothes and make-up.  Oh well, we all go through our phases.  Don’t worry, we’ll be here for you when you’re ready to return.  The rest of the prodigal ABES will meet at my place at 9:00.  JS

Jive Turkey Alley Cat

November has been moving along so quickly we almost forgot about our monthly alley cat.  Luckily our tradition will continue with the Jive Turkey Alley Cat.  The American Thanksgiving is on Thursday so we’ll do our best to honor (not honour) our neighbors (not neighbours) to the south (or would that be soth).  Bring a light, pen and $5.  

We'll only race if 6+ dudes confirm their attendance.  See you at 9:00.

Do you know who's not a jive turkey?  Bill Murray.

Or if he was, he would be hilarious.  JS

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory

I have been missing riding with you guys the last few months, but practices are drawing to a close and the performance of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is coming up.  If any of you want to see some of our fellow ABES (along with many other talented actors) in all their theatrical glory, get tickets for the show.  It is on November 25, 26, and 27th at 7:30 pm at Buhler Hall.  For tickets contact Buhler Hall at 327-5891.
Well enough of my hijacking of the ABES site for my own advertizing, see the poster below for more details.

Charles K.

Thursday Night Ride Report

The snow has arrived and it is good.  Curt, James, Paul W (not W), and I took to the streets, paths, hill, fields and through the trees to ride.  We were all getting reaquainted to the feeling of turning on ice (squeeze you A as tightly as possible) and plowing/swerving through the snow (just give’r).    The off camber paths on the hill were impossible but we tried anyway.  I also forgot how riding bike through a layer of snow can be so quiet – its extra peaceful.  We all overdressed for the ride.  It seems we remembered the frozen toes, fingers and ears from the coldest rides of past winters forgetting that -7 on a bike is not as cold as we feared.  Duke, David and Scheisse joined us at the clubhouse where minutes included: the streaky Toronto Maple Leafs, the innaugural Southern Village Invitational Poker Tournemant, Ron’s Autobody is broke, Doug and the Slugs, Tom is preparing to ride bike in winter (preperation time may take all winter), why taking (and sending) pictures of your wiener is a bad idea, Friesens Corp no longer shares, hookers and blow in Minnie, check-stop scares (twBs), DSwat’s tiny bag (twss) and his deluxe chip buffet.  We miss the ABEs who have been preparing for Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - November 25-27 at Buhler Hall – do you say break a leg to a thespian biker?  The bike shop is open every Wednesday from 1:00 – 4:00 but Curt offered to bring his keys to the Thursday night rides in case anybody needs a little something something.  Good times.  JS

Curt rides the cross course 

Loving it 

Chain issues for James

Paul Wolters rides up to WC Miller

Salty goodness

The Costanza Wallet

and he has a van

Oh the horror...

I know EXACTLY how this guy feels.  Seriously.  I do.

Jump The Bricks FAIL - watch more funny videos

Thursday Night Ride

Riding bike in the snow can be so much fun.  The blank canvas needs to be tagged by your bike and the drifts call out to be slashed - bike vandalism of the kindest nature.  The forecast is for 10 - 15 mm of the fluffy stuff tomorrow - right on!  See you at 9pm.  

Riding bike in winter also makes you badass.  JS

Danny MacAskill is a Freak

Germans are more than smiles and sunshine

I heart biker chicks.  Tom and Jeff sent me this link last week.  Check it out here.

ABES Wins Grand Forks CX Race

Bruce and Albert recently took advantage of the CX races in Grand Forks.  Bruce won his first race in B and Albert took 5th.  Way.  Bruce didn't return for more but Albert did, bumping himself into the A race.  He may not have won but he did prove that he can haul more than trailers.  Well done boys.  ABES rule!  JS

Albert goes all the way

Awkward

Probably Bruce

Why is that crazy hippy smiling?

The "competition"

Remembrance Day Ride Report

It was a great afternoon of riding bike, goofing in the bike shop, drinking pops, eating dogs and hanging with some homies.  It was nice to see Gavin ride again riding his new steed with even newer slick road tires.  He's been doing his best to sleep and survive since lil' Henry joined his life - hang in there.  Dan's pre-ride flat prevented him from joining us at ABES headquarters.  We found him.  His second flat of the day was an opportunity for Curt to show off the bike shop.  During our ride we also tried to inspire/taunt DTwat and Tom out for a ride but were unsuccessful.  We toured the town as we usually do and after all was said and done retired for some dogs.  Paul provided me with a Provincial Champion sized prize.  Thank Paul.  Good times.  JS

Thomas enjoying a sock pop

Dan trying to pump it up at Tom's tree

Walking back to the bike shop

Paul Wotson

Thomas looks through the honesty window

ABES rims?

Pre-dog appetizers 

Podium Girl and prizes

Dynamic Interactive Fun Game Party Time

Sooo goood!

Check out this keirin cycling game. Click here to play, then click on LINEMASTER, then ENTER, then click on a racer. In the race, hit the spacebar really fast to pedal the bike. Use the arrow keys to move around. For the first part of the race, you gotta get into your position behind the pace bike. When the pace bike pulls off, the race is on! Draft behind other racers to save your energy, then sprint ahead for the win. The faster you hit the spacebar, the faster you pedal. Rad!

JS

Thursday Night Ride - Remembrance Day Edition

The ride will commence at 2:30 from my place with post ride dogs for good measure.  

The Clubhouse will be closed so BYOB.  JS

ABES Provincial Champion

Of all the people that don't know what they're doing, I don't know what I'm doing the least.  I'd like to thank everybody who made this moment possible.  Especially Charles who did not race.  As "Citizen License" winner at the CX Provincial Championships I realized I needed to dig down deep, train hard, enter the lowest category and hope that Charles did not race.  The stars aligned for a well earned win.  "No time for losers, cuz I am the champion - OF THE WORLD!"

Hal took the best picture of the race.
Tomek flying high at the top of Hecklers Hill.

If anybody wants racing tips or training techniques, I would be happy to refer you to somebody else.  Good times.  JS

Glad I'm not a Winnipeg cyclist...

Ever get the urge to write a letter to the Editor?  If you haven't, try reading this little gem from Wpg. Free Press columnist Tom Oleson.  Inspiration may be waiting.

http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/opinion/columnists/cyclists-driving-us-round-the-bend-106814648.html

Thursday Night Ride Report

Thomas, Steve, Paul W, Tom, Mike, Curt and I went for a ride that started slowly and ended quickly.  We never made it to the mini track.  We barely made it anywhere - we'll rectify that next week.  Thomas had a flat in the village and we were all unprepared.  We went to Dswats for assistance but he was no help either.  I biked back to get Thomas’s sweet new car (still under 6000 km’s) and repair supplies but by the time I returned the call was made to retire to the clubhouse.  David, James and Paul joined us at the clubhouse where minutes include: breakfast for supper, Dswats bicycle/curling back issues, the limited popcorn supply, Red/Tigers manager Sparky Anderson RIP, fake cancer patients, giving away lottery winnings, the guitar pick punch, Steve’s sweet new purchase: a 2003 Ski-Doo MXZ 800 Renegade, Movember, Sam Elliot, Richard is bringing Wok Chop Suey back to town, sesame chicken BS, David won and is selling a new portable air-conditioner - 12,000 BTU -  “interesting trades considered”, and Paul B is as flakey as a french pastry.  Good times. 

Early Movember

NoMovember - yet

So good.  So bad.

Next week’s Thursday Night Ride will be in the afternoon of the Remembrance Day legislated non-working day.  JS

Thursday Night Ride

T-H-U-R-S-D-A-Y  RIDE!

The snow will be fun when it gets here but I’ll take this mild weather for now.  

Why don’t we ride and race Time Trials at the mini oval.

Meet at 9:00.  JS

Cross Slapped

I find that I’ll suffer while I race and love it tenfold when it’s done.  I’m still waiting for the love to kick in after Halloween at the Harbour.  RRR put on a great race and did a fantastic job of demoralizing me – well done gentlemen.  I liked the pumpkin barrier and whoop option.  I saw Brad almost loose it during a warm up lap and decided to opt with pumpkin route.  The climbing and the soggy ground slayed me.  On my last lap during the long climb to the top of the hill, my crank arm decided to fall off, but with a little help/heckling from my friends, I managed to cross the finish line.  Charles took the fastest ABES title and Ben had the best ABES costume.  Heubner was powered by the Blue Devil and raced out of his mind to win the A race by 2 minutes – very impressive – I’m sure he’ll miss his soul that he apparently sold.  Brad’s costume of Heubner (Darth Vadar) was awesome as was Kevin’s gorilla suit (classic); a pretty cricket, a couple of cowbells, the Butter Dude and the clowns riding the tandem bike were a few of my other favorites.  Charles has pictures that we may see (?) but more can be found around the interwebs highways if you’re curious.  JS

The Crash and Burn Alley Cat Report

David Suave is back

DFL prizes

Easy money

Rick Braun Jr.

We are so funny

The knight that say ni

This report is long overdue.  Maybe I’m still coming to grips of my poor reading comprehension skills which inevitably hurt me (racing or otherwise).  I wasn’t the only one who reads what instead of when during a race.  Broken electronics?  No – 9-5.   Crap.  James let us revisit the ABES and his childhood bicycle crash sites throughout town.  It was a fun race that was void of accidents/time bonuses, or the need to call EMS/automatic win, with a blind poker hand to add to the mix.  Steve’s tire was still hissing when he limped into the clubhouse but a flat tire earned no race bonus – only the opportunity to walk his bike home.  David, who made his first return since The Crash, won the the -5 minute time bonus with the best poker hand – a pair of aces.  Paul W had three-of-a-kind but was swiftly DQ’d by James for not following instructions (reading/listening skills are hard).  We were joined by more ABES at the Clubhouse where the minutes included: church talk, Paul B is interviewing for jobs in Alberta, Schiesse looking for a new cross bike, Tom finally got his bike seat, exploding derailleurs, winter riding, the UFC heavyweight fight, the trials of moving a business, the civic erections, and David was wearing the shirt he got when he won a thousand bucks and blew out his knee on his birthday.  Good times.  JS