Citius, Altius, Fortius Report

David came up with a trilogy of bike skill races with the Olympic theme Higher, Stronger, Faster to add to the September Grand Prix.  The first time trial started at the West side of the hill.  Riders went up and down the hill, over the bridge, then up the hill and down to the finish.  The recent rain left the trail slightly sticky and a metal pole sent Gavin flying over his bars in the dark. 

Results:

Johnny – 1:19.3

Charles – 1:25.5

Steve – 1:26.0

Gavin – 1:26.6

Craig – 1:30.2

Albert – 1:41.1

James – 1:41.9

David – 1:49.3

Shaun – 1:45.6

Tom – 1:53.1

Paul – 2:20.5

The strongman competition saw riders drag a cross country ski groomer weighted down with cinder blocks a designated distance.  After each round another brick was added.  This event saw the powerful clydesdales excell.  Tom took the win beating Steve by a foot.  Shaun, James and Giles made three successful pulls to round out the best of the best.  Gavin made round one look easy but decided to take my bad advice and attempted to catwalk over the finish line – he ended up on his back and about 2 feet short.  Oops.  Steve had the best successful wild-ride as he needed to double back and under the groomer before he finally crossed the line.  Nicely done.

The parking lot time trial sprints saw Gavin and Craig tie for first.  They needed a second run to determine the winner; Gavin squeeked out the win to take the gold.  Charles dropped a chain but showed true grit by running the final stretch, much to the delight of the crowd.

Results:

Gavin – 31.1 – 31.4

Craig – 31.1 – 31.5

Johnny – 32.00

Steve – 32.6

Giles - 32.6

Tom – 33.6

David – 34.1

Albert – 34.2

Shaun – 34.4

James – 35.2

Charles – 45.4

When the final results were tabulated, it was Steve that took the title.  It’s about time - well done Steve!  It must have been his bike choice – mountain bike with a skinny tire in the front and a fatty in the back.  Interesting.  Bruiser is more saavy than we realize.  Giles would have finished higher if he had particiapted in the hill climb (punctuality counts) and Gavin had too much mustard on his hot-dog to find the podium. 

Stage 4 results:

Steve – 60 points

Johnny – 59

Craig – 52

Gavin – 49

Tom – 45

Giles – 43

Charles – 41

James – 38

Albert – 38

Shaun – 36

David – 25

Paul - 16

We were joined at the clubhouse by Duke and Paul B.  The tunes were dialed in to perfection, beef jerky was supplied by Charles and Giles, free popcorn was supplied as usual and the minutes included: Dark Cross stories, the Southern Cross Clydesdales – it was agreed that a female clydesdale class might be a bad idea, deer jerkey season, Turkish delight massage, DVBS/eating glue for Jesus, “Balanced” cigarettes, soy milk steamer with cinnammon sprinkles = super gay, Craigs sweet new cross bike and another bike club blog – MOFOs  (great name).  He said ABES has inspired a handful of fat bikers to start a blog.  I’m not sure if it was because we ride bike and have fun or if its for heavier reasons.  Don’t ask, don’t tell works for me in this case.  Next week will be the Grand Prix Finale.  David has some fun races planned - Lower, Weaker, Slower – or something like that.  Good times.  JS