ThNR Report

Wind chill warnings were in full effect for James, Franklin and I but we bravely/foolishly cycled anyway.  We rode a lap around town and retired to the clubhouse where we watched the Jets win a shootout over the Coyotes.  We were joined by DSwat where Minutes include: Franklin bet against the Jets again (thanks for the beer), the clubhouse graffiti improvement project is in effect – a pen(is) necessary for urination, The Altona Cigarette Enthusiast Society – GO ACES, lose weight with AIDS!, it was confirmed that James was wearing a helmet and Shaun can buy a new mountain bike, memories of Officer Sexy, Mr. F. Yu owns it, Shaun Turtle Waxes his bike, enter the FGBC Spring Classics Pool for vicarious racing fun and fame, ABES headquarters will go on sale in 2015, wear sunscreen, Shaun loudly announced to our waitress that he loves caulk, Obama is making iron man, and Franklin traded a Jets ticket for Shauns bike.  Good times.

The ABES Winter Bike Race is gearing up - more details will come as the weekend approaches.  If you'd like to lend a hand, I could use a volunteer pizza picker upper - let me know if you can help.  So far, Franklin, Stephanie, Sweet Cheryl Koop and I are the only ones that have committed to the race.  Please RSVP if you plan to attend.  If you forget to respond, you will get a kick in the arse that will be delivered with great enthusiasm!

BAC News - Starting March 4, the newly renovated Back Alley Cycle will return to their non-winter hours: Tuesday to Friday, 2:00-6:00 and Saturday, 10:00-3:00.  Check'em out…

ThNR

This winter sucks the bag.

Bikes and Jets at 8.

Arizona Report

Albert has submitted some pics from his bike trip.  Highlights include drifting sand (v snow), eating crab legs and world famous pie, warmer weather and more tail-winds than last year, 830 kms of touring, and not sleeping beside a toilet.

  

Only 2 flats - not bad.

Bicycle license plate from Winnipeg

The last stop.  Well done boys.
Cheers!

Thanks for the updates Albert.  We heart you.

ThNR Report and the AWBR

Franklin, Gavin, David, James, Shaun, Steve and I enjoyed our time puffing and peddling on Thursday night.  We retired to the clubhouse where we were joined by Paul K and Duke.  Minutes include: James may have suffered a concussion as he had a hard time recalling if he had worn his helmet (not that any of us were any help), how does anybody do anything, Franky got so tired of the cold he quit winter = summer bike, summer shoes = cold feet, there were an unusually high number of ABES that missed the last 5 minutes of the Canada V USA women's hockey game, Japanese flag designers are lazy, I was lucky to play poker against a bunch of losers, DB shared his Actif Epica high/lowlights, David was giddy that his Tar Heels beat the Blue Devils, my pipes are knock, knock, knock’n, Ain’t nobody got time for that, Paul – you’re curling in the bonspiel this weekend – remember?, Shaun spent 4 hours drilling a fishing hole with a manual auger and never made it through, for some reason Franky is excited about NASCAR, David is anticipating March Madness, Duke found his pants, kids watching curling porn at school, buddah V Buddha, you can’t make friends with salad, the ABES Winter Bike Party will be on March 9 at 2:30 (details below), summer cycling weekend options and David Downer strikes again.  Good times.  

Albert and Walter took some advie from Lyle W and cycled a 30km route that gained 2500 feet in elevation.


Speaking of "details below", check out the details below…

ABES Winter Bike Race – Sunday, March 9 at 2:30.  Anybody that cycles in winter and likes good times is welcome to join us.

Cruise – Meet at ABES/Athena Headquarters - group bike ride on the trails, alleys, rinks and parks in our fair hamlet.  Big group rides are great.  The more the merrier.

Give'r - Ride and Seek Photo Scavenger Hunt – bring a camera (SD card cameras preferred).  Race in teams.

Eat, Drink, and be Merry – the finish line is at the Altona Curling Club to tabulate the results, slap some backs, have some laughs and consume beer, pizza, and chips.

Registration: $5/person or $10/family - includes food.  Cheap like borscht.  An RSVP is required.  Please note, the cost does not include actual borscht.

BYOB or buy from the ACC bar.  

If anybody wants to make borscht, that would be good.

ThNR

ThNR Report

Shaun, David, James and I peddled about town.  Shaun ploughed through the deepest drifts, we were harassed by a preacher, and David had pre-cleared some paths for us at the park.  It was a short (10K) and cold ride (wtf winter!? We get it; you’re super cold.  Now go away!).  We retired to the clubhouse where we were joined by Lyle, Dan and Duke.  Minutes of our meeting include: local snowboarders are getting towed with a truck to build up speed and launch themselves off ramps (=awesome), David is on the towns unofficial trails committee, Dan cheers against Canada, we all wished Paul K well on his impressive actif epica adventure this weekend - we thought using tampons as a helmet liner would help combat his overactive sweat glands - just a thought, Peterbilt V Albert built, cigars that take three weeks to smoke, Dan bought a Co-op Gold near-beer for Shaun that was dutifully and painstakingly consumed, Duke will celebrate “No Pants Week” while his family is away, it costs $192 to fill up the Suburban, scaring grandma, an MCI urine fetish shut down the Gretna arena, Valentine’s Day V Remembrance Day, Borderland school division closed for Louise Riel Day, winter Olympic goodness/tension and possible  cyclocross inclusion, luge relay?, Buddy Cole reports from Sochi (pronounced So-shay), Steven is the provincial 12 K classic xc ski gold medal champion, Lyle is looking for steel bike frames for welding practice, Spring Ride destination options, Yo Alex!, and Dan Gagne is movin’ on up. 

ThNR Arizona Report - Albert and Walter are about take a train from Phoenix to San Diego, then cycle back to Phoenix.  Nice.  Have fun boys.

Albert wearing shorts.

I remember wearing shorts.  Good times.

FFMFF Postponed

Franky and his February flu forfeit the Full Moon Firearm Frenzy fun.  F.

Same old ThNR.  Same old good times.

See you at 8.

ThNR Report

Just two good ol' boys,

never meanin' no harm.

We were too late to enjoy these redneck toys

The minutes are late and lacking but basically they're the same as every report…we cycled around, went to the clubhouse and things got funnier as the night went on.  Good times.

This week was a pale preamble to next weeks ThNRace where we get to enjoy Franky’s Full-Moon Frenzy.  Do NOT miss it.  According to the rumour mill, the race will include shooting rifles and beers so hide yo kids, hide yo wife and make sure you don’t miss what is sure to be a hellafun night of ABES goodness.  JS

ThNR

Time to make some tracks.

See you at 8.

Cross race report - Altona Winter Carnival edition

Conditions for racing were clear and cold this morning as 3 hearty ABES and one lone Athena dueled for supremacy.  Vying  for 6 prizes amongst 4 racers meant everyone wins! Plus the added bonus of free fries from McD's. Double win!

Race Director Shaun Dyck reported fine track conditions. A 5 lap race was established with extra prizes for the hole shot and first crash. The finishing order was:

1. Charles Klippenstein 

2. Shaun Dyck

3. Albert Falk

4. Cindy Hiebert

Holed shot - Charles

First crash - no one crashed, although Charles did fall over post race.

Thanks Race Director!

ThNR Report

James, Shaun, Franky and I braved the cold and cycled around town.  The snow-cyclocross course was in perfect conditions, the ice at the pond was slick and the town had cleared the paths through tall drifts in the park.  We retired to the clubhouse where we were joined by Dan, Tom, David, Duke and copious amounts of hot popcorn.  Minutes include: Shaun used his Dogecoin to help send an Indian luger to the winter olympics, Russian fly-by’s and casual car crashes, we were advised on the benefits of eating chicken feet by a friendly stranger, carnival V carnal Val, plans for and ABES keezer, February 13 – Franky’s Full Moon Frenzy (dubious details a’comin), Dan used his snow-blower and found a beer bottle and scattered shards of glass in his front yard, Dumb Dumb David got stuck three times at work this week (to the frustration and delight of his co-workers), old-school snowmobile jacket belts, Dan plans to run for town council, James enjoyed free beer and smokes all night, SD had pig shit stuck n his teeth and didn’t care anymore, biking isn’t bad-ass – it’s cheap (maybe both), the CFL quarterback shuffle begins, Dyck ice cream, it was a weak week, and the Southern Cross 2015 prizes will include a pair of Jet’s Tickets.  Good times. 

Shaun graciously agreed to be the race director tomorrow.  Races start at 11:30 behind the MEC.  Thanks Shaun.  

ThNR

It takes a village to have a bike club: a race is director needed for the Altona Winter Carnival this Saturday.  If you can say 1,2,3, go! you're qualified.  Easy peasy (pleasy).

See you at 8.

ThNR Report

James, Duke, Gavin, David and I (aka grad ‘88 and friends) met for the group ride.  We sampled the snow-cross course, trudged our way through drifts and enjoyed mild winter temps.  We were briefly joined by Albert at the clubhouse where minutes include: getting bike bits across the border, Barn Cross is THIS weekend Albert, David likes the word stanchions, Duke is going to build a clubhouse this summer (or have a clubhouse built)?, Shaun was sick but did send his regards (Hi / F.U.), DB was stranded 2 km’s from home during a snowstorm last week, James scored a seven ender, Duke is willing to buy half of Franklins Jets ticket share, Justin Beiber was drinking and driving responsibly, Gavin recalled going to wrestling matches with his dad in the house that Hulk built, Duke was chosen to be in a knife throwing circus act in Mexico, Homeland V Heartland, True Detective V Danger Bay V The Edison Twins, David complained that the Jets game was too loud – HA, and in my humble opinion, my opinions are the best.  Good times.  JS

The photo friendly giant

Up and over the drift at the snow-cross course

DSwank opts for the oh so classy shopping bag boot liner

ThNR

Let's have some fun.

See you at 8.

PS - Grad '88 RULES!!!

ThNR Report

Mike, Gavin, Shaun, and I braved the weather and cycled around our humble hamlet.  It was cold and windy but probably the nicest weather of the day.  Mike and Gavin climbed the hill, the ice had beautiful snow formations, the drifts were hard enough to bike on (until you broke through) and the intersections were icy.  There were more people joining us for the meeting than the ride, including: Steve, Franklin, Steven, Albert, Tom and David.  Minutes include: sunburnt bald spots, a 1 hour commute from Gretna to Altona in a snowstorm, Franklin was sporting his new Amish beard, ski jump wing suit, Shaun wants to buy a new house/clubhouse, Nordic Combined is a thing (ski jump and cross country ski), snowboarding events sponsored by Cheetos, Steven enjoyed his first cross country ski skate race, Albert is going to cycle in Arizona with Walter, no way V yahweh, kids are expensive, curling on the infamous Halbstadt ice, threesomes, kite skiing, the Altona Winter Festival is February 1 – bike races at 11:30, Cheryl is no longer the Athena lush, curling in Las Vegas, DB is special, Steve caught a beauty trout while ice fishing, and drugs aren’t a problem in school today – they’re better than ever!  There were no photos this week but check out this crazy mofo…

Good times.

ThNR

The bike ride is on, natch.

I'll see you country mice at 8.

Barn Cross

Our biking brothers and sisters at Dark Red Racing are organizing an afternoon of bike racing and rabble rousing, and we’re all invited.  The goodness takes place on Sunday, January 26 from 3:00 - 7:00 at the Misty River Ranch.  

It’s cycling in a barn – hellsya!  $10 entry fee and BYOB.

ThNR Report

Chaz, James, David, Curt, Mike, Shaun, Albert, DB, Franklin and I met for the best THnR of the year.  It was a beautiful winter night to cycle as the roads were sticky and  the weather was mild.  We took to the streets, country, paths, and a sweet snow course that DS made.  The nature park ice was extra grippy but the hill was not climbable unless you’re a stud like Mike.   The brave ones rode down the hill without touching their brakes – David actually meowed as he squeeeeked his way down the hill.  Albert put on a good show as he fishtailed and crashed in a magnificent heap at the bottom of the hill - showoff.  We retired to the clubhouse which was filled with old-timers and no music – sugoi!  El Duque joined us and minutes include: viable passenger train service in Canada, David fiiiiiiiiiiiinaly returned the ABES sign to it rightful place, the Jets are consistently inconsistent, Duke’s hydro bill last month was $575, no wings or popcorn = McDonalds delights, Strength Through Joy/ABES/Nazi logos, our new clubhouse will include a hospitality suite, an assassination theme park, Athena bike club = Drake groupies,  Nanoo-Nanoo, smart feller V fart smeller, and DB’s gross phone is powered by electrolytes.  The spring ride takes place on June 13-15 (mumblefathersday).  It will be awesome.  

David submitted these beauties…

Good times.

ThNR

The Thursday Night Ride weather looks pretty good for a change.  Beautiful even yet once.  Makes me daydream about our Spring ride.  Will it be on June 6-8 or 13-15?  Check your calendars and talk with the Mrs.  Share your druthers at the meeting.

 See you at 8.

ThNR Report

Chaz, Shaun, James, Curt and I braved the cold and cycled about on sluggish bikes.  The paths were mostly cleared, the hill was climbable and I was the self-proclaimed world champion of the world at knockdowns.  David and Duke joined us at the clubhouse where minutes include: hair in odd places - the joys of growing old, uncle Phil is dead, forgetting your teeth at home, Shaun used to rock out with Pentera, Curt likes compression clothing, Leo is too big for his car, The Jets lost their first game since David and Franklin made a bet (David has 10-1 odds that the Jets will make the playoffs), Lisa is allergic to cinnamon and gold, Sweet Cheryl Koop is incapacitated, and it was unanimously agreed that David is both lazy and an asshole.

DB looking for donations